{"id":11888,"date":"2013-12-23T20:10:24","date_gmt":"2013-12-23T09:10:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nofibs.com.au\/?p=11888"},"modified":"2019-04-14T00:01:39","modified_gmt":"2019-04-13T14:01:39","slug":"best-polly-ticks-quotes-moments-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/best-polly-ticks-quotes-moments-2013\/","title":{"rendered":"Best Polly Ticks Quotes and Moments of 2013"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\"><br \/>\n<span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/hd35-zAMMpc?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation\"><\/iframe><\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\">by <\/span><a style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\" title=\"Sarah Capper\" href=\"http:\/\/nofibs.com.au\/authors\/sarah-capper\/\">Sarah Capper<\/a><\/p>\n<p>23 December 2013<\/p>\n<p>A week is a long time in politics. A year is an excruciating amount of time, and as we near the end of 2013, our third prime minister for the year has just reached his first 100 days in office. Awww.<\/p>\n<p>In many senses, it\u2019s been Tony Abbott\u2019s year.\u00a0So what does this year in politics look like \u2013 in the \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/federal-politics\/federal-election-2013\/liberals-squirm-as-abbott-refers-to-the-suppository-of-wisdom-20130812-2rryy.html#ixzz2naa6APze\">suppository of wisdom<\/a>\u201d of quotable quotes? Beyond the delivery of our PM\u2019s trademark \u201cUmm, Ah, Yeah, Um,\u201d response?<\/p>\n<p>Some people said Abbott\u2019s election would provide Australia with its \u2018George Bush\u2019 moment [shiver], but in terms of adding to the rich history of Australian political vernacular, perhaps Tony Abbott is more of the\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.brainyquote.com\/quotes\/authors\/d\/donald_rumsfeld.html\">Donald Rumsfeld<\/a>\u00a0gift-that-keeps-on-giving variety. He picks up a swag of awards in deciphering this year\u2019s\u00a0<strong>Best \u2018Polly Ticks\u2019 Quotes and Moments of 2013.\u00a0<\/strong>[Insert Drum Roll and 21 Gun Salute]<strong>.\u00a0<\/strong>This year\u2019s nominees and awards go to:<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Daggy Dad Award<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11890\" alt=\"BY6oVCUCMAEZKAV\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BY6oVCUCMAEZKAV.jpg?resize=599%2C337\" width=\"599\" height=\"337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BY6oVCUCMAEZKAV.jpg?w=599&amp;ssl=1 599w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BY6oVCUCMAEZKAV.jpg?resize=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 599px) 100vw, 599px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Nominees include:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 60px;\">Tony Abbott, in comparing Liberal candidate for Lindsay Fiona Scott with former member Jackie Kelly (or Kackie Jelly, as she was once affectionately known):<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 60px;\"><em>\u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-08-13\/tony-abbott-highlights-fellow-candidates-sex-appeal\/4884346\">They\u2019re young, feisty, I think I can probably say have a bit of sex appeal and they\u2019re just very connected with the local area,<\/a>\u201d he said.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Former Labor leader Mark Latham scores a Dishonorable mention in relation to this nomination, for then declaring that Scott wasn\u2019t \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.3aw.com.au\/blogs\/breaking-news-blog\/mark-latham-in-hot-water-over-fiona-scott-beer-goggles-gaffe\/20130814-2rwir.html\">that good of a sort<\/a>\u201d after checking her out in the paper.\u00a0\u00a0Noice. As entertainer Eddie Perfect said in response, \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/inagist.com\/all\/367761665481142272\/\">Giving Mark Latham airtime is ethically irresponsible. It\u2019s like paying an alcoholic in booze.<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While the award for this prize naturally goes to the new PM, the winning comment comes from yet another election corker, when Abbott appeared with a daughter on each arm [but of course \u2013 after the election campaign he needed to have them surgically removed] in a televised message to the \u2018Big Brother\u2019 house to ask them to vote for him because:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=OmyoRNL0hrQ\"><em>\u201cI\u2019m the guy with the not-bad-looking daughters\u201d.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Ewww. Ewww. EWWW, Indeed. Kudos also goes to Tony Abbott\u2019s adult daughters, who the PM said would live with him and Margie at the lodge because:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/lifestyle\/life\/blogs\/citykat\/til-marriage-do-us-part-20130919-2u07t.html\"><em>\u201cT<\/em><em>hey don\u2019t want to leave home until such time as they get married.\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Aw, shucks \u2013 such a traditional guy. For this prize,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailytelegraph.com.au\/sport\/nrl\/prime-minister-tony-abbott-manly-sea-eagles-likely-number-one-ticket-holder\/story-fni3fbgz-1226784401358\">Abbott wins the Number One Ticket Holder position of the Manly Sea Eagles<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 a team his daughters barrack for \u2013 where he can accompany his unmarried offspring to the football, and just in case anyone is under any strange illusion of\u00a0\u00a0the hetero-normative prism the Abbotts inhabit (except for his, ahem, sister, nods to her), he can whip into his speedos and appear under signs that say \u201cMANLY\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The\u00a0<em>Philip Ruddock Amnesty Badge Award<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11891\" alt=\"Joe-Hockey\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Joe-Hockey.jpg?resize=591%2C332\" width=\"591\" height=\"332\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Joe-Hockey.jpg?w=591&amp;ssl=1 591w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Joe-Hockey.jpg?resize=300%2C168&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 591px) 100vw, 591px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Sadly, quite a few nominees for this Award.<\/p>\n<p>The first is a retrospective nod to the new Treasurer Joe Hockey, who in 2012 \u2013 and in the safe confines of opposition \u2013 said:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theaustralian.com.au\/national-affairs\/policy\/hockey-reveals-personal-anguish\/story-fn9hm1gu-1226410516122\"><em>\u201cI will never ever support a people swap where you can send a 13-year-old child unaccompanied to a country without supervision. Never. It will be over my dead body. How dare people.\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Someone\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2013\/nov\/15\/morrison-confirms-three-unaccompanied-minors-on-nauru\">please<\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-25\/morrison-confirms-a-young-asylum-seeker-transferred-from-nauru\/5114618\">check<\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.mamamia.com.au\/news\/unaccompanied-minor-on-nauru\/\">whether<\/a>\u00a0the Treasurer still has a pulse.<\/p>\n<p>On the issue of asylum seekers, we must give another Dishonorable Mention award to the current Immigration Minister, following in the tradition of this Award\u2019s name-sake, for his defence of the decision to separate an asylum seeker Mother and her sick brand-new-born baby each evening. The Myanmar Mother was being held offshore on Nauru, but gave birth at Brisbane\u2019s Mater Hospital. Fairfax reported that she was separated each night from her sick baby, but this was defended in a statement from Immigration Minister Scott Morrison, who said:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-14\/morrison-defends-limiting-asylum-seekers-time-with-baby\/5091458\"><em>\u201cShe is able to, and has been staying with the baby throughout each day.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-14\/morrison-defends-limiting-asylum-seekers-time-with-baby\/5091458\">\u201cDoctors at the hospital advise it is common practice for mothers not to stay overnight with babies in special care units due to bed restrictions.\u201d<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Morrison and Abbott also deserve a special nod for omitting a couple of key words in their pre-election broken record slogan, \u2018STOP THE BOATS\u2019, which, through the Immigration Minister\u2019s \u2018weekly shipping news\u2019 briefings we have since learnt actually meant<a href=\"http:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.kudelka.com.au\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/OZED130924.jpg\">\u00a0\u2018STOP [reporting on] THE BOATS\u2019.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Another nomination for the Philip Ruddock Amnesty Badge Award goes to \u2026 Tony Abbott again! Hooray! Even while British PM and fellow Tory David Cameron was lambasting Sri Lanka over its human rights abuses, our Christian Australian PM chose to \u201cturn the other cheek\u201d, arguing that:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/worldtoday\/content\/2013\/s3893068.htm\"><em>\u201c[While the Australian Government] deplores the use of torture, we accept that sometimes in difficult circumstances difficult things happen\u201d.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11893\" alt=\"5097520-3x2-940x627\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/5097520-3x2-940x627-e1387779535953.jpg?resize=640%2C427\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/5097520-3x2-940x627-e1387779535953.jpg?w=640&amp;ssl=1 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/5097520-3x2-940x627-e1387779535953.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This comment came from the same school of diplomacy in which, when describing the Syrian conflict, the Prime Minister reduced it to a John Wayne movie dialogue:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-09-02\/abbott-seeks-to-explain-baddies-v-baddies-comment\/4929118\"><em>\u201cWe\u2019ve got a civil war going on in that benighted country between two pretty unsavoury sides. It\u2019s not goodies versus baddies \u2013 it\u2019s baddies versus baddies,\u201d<\/em><\/a><em><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Also related to Abbott\u2019s comments on \u201cdifficult\u201d things happening [read: torture], the PM more recently slapped down the \u201cPC Police\u201d, advocating the occasional\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-12-12\/abbott-says-gentle-smack-can-be-good-for-children\/5151798\">\u201cgentle\u201d smacking<\/a>\u00a0of children by parents, arguing that he adopted the technique as a father. A special gong for use of the word \u2018gentle\u2019 \u2013 simply insert \u2018gentle\u2019 before any of the following:<\/p>\n<p>Smacking \u2013 Torture \u2013 Assault \u2013 Rape<\/p>\n<p>Yep, good word, gentle.<\/p>\n<p>But before the recipient of this gong is announced, there is a runner-up winner of this prize who is new to the political scene \u2013 the aforementioned Liberal candidate for Lindsay Fiona Scott, who, during the election campaign told ABC\u2019s Four Corners program:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/federal-politics\/federal-election-2013\/liberal-candidate-links-asylum-seekers-to-traffic-jams-and-hospital-queues-20130903-2t1kw.html\"><em>\u201d[Asylum seekers are] a hot topic here because our traffic is overcrowded\u201d, citing Sydney\u2019s congested M4 freeway.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Yep, all those leaky boats, cluttering up the damn highway. For this pearler, Scott wins the Western Sydney seat of Lindsay, where she can now share her wisdom on a national stage!\u00a0\u00a0Get that Amnesty badge on quick-sticks!\u00a0\u00a0And someone please have a quiet word with Scott \u2013 to let her know that Dog Whistle Politics is best reserved for sympathetic right wing shock jocks\u00a0\u00a0&#8211; that ABC\u2019s Four Corners is not the best place in which to say dumb things.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11895\" alt=\"BTPMUZ2CEAARkYv\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BTPMUZ2CEAARkYv-e1387780238760.jpg?resize=640%2C484\" width=\"640\" height=\"484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BTPMUZ2CEAARkYv-e1387780238760.jpg?w=640&amp;ssl=1 640w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BTPMUZ2CEAARkYv-e1387780238760.jpg?resize=300%2C226&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>While Scott was elected to the Seat of Lindsay, the nation was spared [F&#8217;Yeah, DEMOCRACY!] in the Seat of Greenway, after Jayme Diaz had his \u2018<a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/federal-politics\/federal-election-2013\/diaz-and-confused-candidate-misses-the-points-20130806-2rb1v.html\">Diazed and Confused<\/a>\u2019 moment (boom-tish, thank you Fairfax headline) broadcast around the world.<\/p>\n<p>During the election campaign, Diaz was bailed up by television journalist John Hill on the detail of the Coalition\u2019s \u201csix-point stop the boats\u201d plan. When quizzed, Diaz was unable to provide any details \u2013 beyond \u201cstopping the boats\u201d, and there being \u201csix points\u201d to the plan.\u00a0 It\u2019s not exactly a quotable quote, but rather, a quotable non-quote. Indeed, his \u201csix point gaffe\u201d went viral around the world, even making it to Jon Stewart\u2019s popular \u2018Daily Show\u2019 in the USA, courtesy of the brilliant John Oliver, who provided a much better suggestion for wannabe politicians if caught in such a dilemma:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/federal-politics\/federal-election-2013\/daily-show-pokes-fun-at-australian-elections-20130814-2rv7j.html\"><em>\u201cPoint Two is this. \u2018Hey Everybody, Oh my god! Look! A mouse riding a cat!\u2019 And then you run away!\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s hard to top that. But not impossible! For the winner of the very hotly contested \u2018Philip Ruddock Amnesty Badge Award\u2019 goes to \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Oh my God, Look! It\u2019s Tony Abbott, AGAIN. Abbott picks up this gong for a recent conversation he had with the legendary Burmese human rights campaigner \u2013 political activist, Nobel Peace Prize laurete, and Chair of the National League for Democracy Aung San Suu Kyi.<\/p>\n<p>Suu Kyi has a much publicized history of being under house arrest for a huge period of her adult life \u2013 most of the years between her arrest in 1989 until her release in 2010 have been spent under house arrest.<\/p>\n<p>Her experience included being separated for long periods from her husband and sons back in the UK (and tragically her husband Michael Aris passed away in 1999, ten years after her house arrest, a period in which they only saw each other around five times \u2013 the last time in 1995, four years before he died of cancer in the UK).<\/p>\n<p>On meeting Suu Kyi \u2013 indeed one of the world\u2019s most inspirational human beings \u2013 Prime Minister Tony Abbott attempted to find things in \u201ccommon\u201d with his own life and indeed political struggles, yup, telling Suu Kyi:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-28\/aung-san-suu-kyi-weighs-in-on-asylum-debate\/5123282\"><em>\u201cI was an opposition leader myself for four years; I know that that position has some exhilarations and some frustrations.\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Can you\u00a0 remind us, Mr Abbott, precisely what were the terms of your house arrest?!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11897\" alt=\"AungSang\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/AungSang-e1387780513665.jpg?resize=468%2C624\" width=\"468\" height=\"624\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/AungSang-e1387780513665.jpg?w=468&amp;ssl=1 468w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/AungSang-e1387780513665.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 468px) 100vw, 468px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>There are no words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Jonathan Shier Memorial Award for Most Inappropriate Political Appointment<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The new Attorney-General George Brandis just squeezes in to this year\u2019s nominees (and Brandis should be a contender \u2013 with one of the most memorable political quotes in modern times attributed to his lips \u2013 supposedly labeling former Prime Minister John Howard a \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/articles\/2004\/09\/02\/1093939056014.html\">lying rodent<\/a>\u201d in 2004).<\/p>\n<p>Earlier this week the AG appointed Tim Wilson as the new Australian Human Rights commissioner (there are seven commissioners in total).\u00a0\u00a0Wilson has worked with the right wing \u201cthink-tank\u201d the Institute of Public Affairs as Policy Director \u2013 the \u201cthink tank\u201d which campaigned for the abolition of the Australian Human Rights Commission itself. Only time will tell if Wilson writes himself out of a job.<\/p>\n<p>Brandis rates a mention for saying the appointment was about restoring\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-12-19\/joseph-tim-wilson-human-rights-commission\/5166506\">\u201cbalance\u201d<\/a>\u00a0to the Human Rights Commission. So much for indivisibility or universality of human rights.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps the Attorney-General could use a \u2018Civics Lesson\u2019 from US broadcaster Rachel Maddow:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11900\" alt=\"maddow1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/maddow1-e1387780781900.jpg?resize=463%2C600\" width=\"463\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/maddow1-e1387780781900.jpg?w=463&amp;ssl=1 463w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/maddow1-e1387780781900.jpg?resize=231%2C300&amp;ssl=1 231w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 463px) 100vw, 463px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Simple, right? Not so, for Attorney-General Brandis. For example, the AG has been leading the Federal government\u2019s High Court challenge in trying to overturn the Australian Capital Territory same sex marriage legislation, despite\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/society\/2013\/oct\/23\/abbott-brandis-progressive-gay-marriage\">suggestions Brandis himself actually supports gay marriage<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>But the winner of the award for the\u00a0<strong>Jonathan Shier Memorial Award for Most Inappropriate Political Appointment goes to\u00a0<\/strong>[drumroll, cue\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MUBnxqEVKlk\">Helen Reddy<\/a>]:<\/p>\n<p>Oh yes, it has been his year \u2013 Tony Abbott!<\/p>\n<p class=\"jetpack-slideshow-noscript robots-nocontent\">This slideshow requires JavaScript.<\/p><div id=\"gallery-11888-1-slideshow\" class=\"jetpack-slideshow-window jetpack-slideshow jetpack-slideshow-black\" data-trans=\"fade\" data-autostart=\"1\" data-gallery=\"[{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/archive.nofibs.com.au\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/12\\\/BUajagsCMAAKkiK.jpg?fit=600%2C450\\u0026ssl=1&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;11901&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;BUajagsCMAAKkiK&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;itemprop&quot;:&quot;image&quot;},{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/archive.nofibs.com.au\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/12\\\/BUSJbz0CcAAZHEB.jpg?fit=551%2C492\\u0026ssl=1&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;11902&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;BUSJbz0CcAAZHEB&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;itemprop&quot;:&quot;image&quot;},{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/i0.wp.com\\\/archive.nofibs.com.au\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2013\\\/12\\\/BUrcYJFCAAEdlmy.jpg?fit=598%2C337\\u0026ssl=1&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:&quot;11903&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;BUrcYJFCAAEdlmy&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;itemprop&quot;:&quot;image&quot;}]\" itemscope itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageGallery\"><\/div>\n<p>For assigning himself the Minister for the Status of Women. In announcing his manistry \u2013 sorry, ministry \u2013 which included just one woman in Cabinet, Tony Abbott chose himself to represent the needs of the women of Australia (no doubt as they\u2019re\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/news.smh.com.au\/breaking-news-national\/abbotts-ironing-comments-attract-ire-20100208-nmi2.html\">doing the ironing<\/a>, pondering electricity bill shortens). And he offered this pearler in not promoting more women to Cabinet:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2013\/sep\/16\/tony-abbott-cabinet-disappointment\"><em>\u201cIf Sophie Mirabella had been clearly ahead in Indi, Sophie would be in the cabinet. So plainly, I am disappointed that there are not at least two women in the cabinet.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2013\/sep\/16\/tony-abbott-cabinet-disappointment\"><em>\u201cNevertheless, there are some\u00a0very good and talented women knocking on the door of the\u00a0Cabinet and there are lots of\u00a0good and talented women\u00a0knocking on the door of the\u00a0ministry,\u201d he said.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Abbott was \u201cdisappointed\u201d in the voters in Victoria\u2019s north-east corner, where, despite swings recorded towards the Coalition occurring pretty much across the country, the voters of Indi instead caused the upset of the 2013 campaign, electing Independent Cathy McGowan, through\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/sheilas.org.au\/2013\/09\/kitchentable\/\">sheer good ol\u2019 fashioned grassroots campaigning<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0And as for Sophie Mirabella, she may be without a seat and ministry in parliament, but she does not go empty-handed \u2013 as awarded by the former Independent for New England, when asked on ABC Insiders what he will miss the least on leaving politics, Tony Windsor nominated Mirabella, thanks to her winning the \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/insiders\/content\/2012\/s3792623.htm\">nasty prize<\/a>\u201d.<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>The next prize is for Unbridled Breathtaking Hypocrisy \u2026\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And the nominees are \u2013 and ooh, this one is a tight one \u2013<\/p>\n<p>Yep, you guessed it, Tony Abbott, who is up for the award for declaring during his first parliamentary sitting as Prime Minister that\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-12\/new-mps-sworn-in-as-debt-cap-row-flares\/5085344\">\u201cthis chamber should always be a place of spirited debate, but it should never be a place where motives are impugned or characters assassinated\u201d.<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-11-12\/new-mps-sworn-in-as-debt-cap-row-flares\/5085344\">\u201cWhen any of us are tempted to be low, mean or petty, the Member for MacKellar is well equipped to recall us to our duty.\u201d<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Isn\u2019t this the same Member for MacKellar who, along with Sophie Mirabella, stood beside signs at a Carbon Price rally screaming \u2018<a href=\"http:\/\/www.skynews.com.au\/topstories\/article.aspx?id=923744\">DITCH THE WITCH<\/a>\u2019 \u2013 as in referring to our first female Prime Minister Julia Gillard?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11905\" alt=\"BUPvuC1CEAAOv6F\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BUPvuC1CEAAOv6F.jpg?resize=599%2C674\" width=\"599\" height=\"674\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BUPvuC1CEAAOv6F.jpg?w=599&amp;ssl=1 599w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/BUPvuC1CEAAOv6F.jpg?resize=266%2C300&amp;ssl=1 266w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 599px) 100vw, 599px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p>And in relation to Tony Abbott calling for a parliament that avoids \u201ccharacter assassination\u201d, isn\u2019t this the same Member of Parliament who also stood next to such signs, who has a lengthy reputation of parliamentary conduct of the head-kicking variety? Who referenced the Government \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.smh.com.au\/federal-politics\/political-news\/oblivious-abbott-says-he-used-shame-term-first-20121010-27dkf.html\">dying of shame<\/a>\u201d, soon after broadcaster Alan Jones got into justifiable hot water for his reference of the former Prime Minister\u2019s late father \u201cdying of shame\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>While Abbott wins this prize he isn\u2019t alone in his hypocrisy. This one is a tie, with former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who, after wrestling the ALP leadership from Julia Gillard mid this year, after some serious undermining of her leadership, at the expense of his own party\u2019s hold on government all in the name of ego, rose in parliament during its first sitting with him back in the PM\u2019s chair, and dared to call on MPs to be a \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/sheilas.org.au\/2013\/07\/three-years-zipped-by-a-selfie\/\">little kinder and gentler to each other<\/a>\u201d \u2013 presumably the exact opposite to how he himself behaved over the previous three years.<\/p>\n<p>The Member for Griffith\u2019s prize is reducing the Labor Party\u2019s primary vote to its lowest in 100 years. At least with his retirement, the world will be spared from as many shameless\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.theaustralian.com.au\/media\/kevin-rudd-selfie-obsessed-pm-misses-the-mark\/story-e6frg996-1226694575617#mm-premium\">\u201cselfies\u201d<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\">But indeed, these awards can\u2019t all be about Tony Abbott, and Kevin Rudd receives another special gong at these, ahem, esteemed awards, for providing a list of denials in response to questions about his leadership ambitions (no doubt after he himself had briefed journalists about, yep, you guessed it, his leadership ambitions).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"387929-kevin-rudd-selfie\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/387929-kevin-rudd-selfie-e1374222252993.jpg?resize=578%2C449\" width=\"578\" height=\"449\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s the Lazarus With A Triple Bypass Award.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Related to this prize are a couple of honourable mentions on the Coalition front bench. To Malcolm Turnbull, who delved into anthropology earlier this year when describing the ALP\u2019s relationship with Kevin Rudd:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.news.com.au\/national\/i-could-have-been-destroyed-turnbull\/story-fncynjr2-1226585506315\"><em>\u201cIt\u2019s quite interesting from a sort pathological point of view, that the hatred for Rudd among some quarters in the Labor Party is greater than the natural human instinct for survival,\u201d<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Well he would say that. And to Treasurer Joe Hockey, who on one of the days of K-Rudd\u2019s failed leadership tilts (the one where he didn\u2019t actually front up to the challenge after Simon Crean simultaneously shot himself in foot and mouth), got a little \u2018Rumsfeld-esque\u2019, teasing Rudd with the line:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/insiders\/content\/2013\/s3902570.htm\"><em>Of course, he may choose not to be the chosen one. But that is the right of the chosen one, to choose not to be chosen.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Both Hockey and Turnbull win the possible prize of having another tilt at the Liberal leadership again sometime, of their or their party\u2019s choosing (which, given the drifting opinion polls in the early life of the Abbott Government, may not seem so outrageous).<\/p>\n<p>But this award is for the Chosen one himself, in relation to his leadership aspirations he\u2019s on the record as denying\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.politifact.com.au\/truth-o-meter\/statements\/2013\/jun\/27\/kevin-rudd\/prime-minister-kevin-rudd-gets-our-first-full-flop\/\">(neatly documented on website Politifact<\/a>) &#8211;<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>February 5, 2013<\/em><\/strong><em>: \u201cI supported the Prime Minister \u2026 that remains my position \u2026 everyone should take a long, cold shower.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>March 21, 2013<\/em><\/strong><em>: \u201cI have said that the only circumstances under which I would consider a return to leadership would be if there was an overwhelming majority of the parliamentary party requesting such a return, drafting me to return and the position was vacant \u2026 I am here to inform you that those circumstances do not exist.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Through a spokesman on March 22, 2013<\/em><\/strong><em>: \u201cMr Rudd wishes to make 100 per cent clear to all members of the parliamentary Labor Party, including his own supporters, that there are no circumstances under which he will return to the Labor Party leadership in the future.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>June 6, 2013<\/em><\/strong><em>: \u201cLast time I said in February of 2012 that I would not be challenging the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister won that caucus ballot by two-to-one. It was a convincing and strong win. I\u2019ve accepted the result.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>June 7, 2013<\/em><\/strong><em>: \u201cI have said very plainly that I am not a candidate for the leadership. And I have said equally plainly that I do not see any circumstances under which I would return to the leadership.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And yet a month later \u2026 well, the rest is history. Rudd ultimately wins the prize of retirement from politics (three years too late). Yes, he was the bloke who took down John Howard in 2007, and for that he shall be remembered. But lest we forget he is also the bloke who took down half the talent from the ALP\u2019s front bench, by the three years of relentless undermining of Julia Gillard he undertook with a band of supporters. And for that, he should also be remembered.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\">As Deputy Opposition leader Tanya Plibersek eloquently put it on election night, the ALP scored \u201cnine out of ten for governing the country\u201d, but \u201cnone out of ten for governing ourselves\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Which also leads to our final Gongs, both which are awarded to Australia\u2019s first female PM Julia Gillard. Firstly, the\u00a0<strong>\u2018Grace Under Fire\u2019 Award<\/strong>\u2018 which Gillard wins for her comments on the July night Kevin Rudd replaced her. No matter what \u201cside\u201d punters were on, I think most could concede that at that particular time, Gillard had been under relentless pressure from so many quarters (from media and political pundits across the spectrum). The night of the challenge, writer Benjamin Law summed it up with this tweet:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/mrbenjaminlaw\/status\/349776762474999809\">Whatever happens tonight, I call on the people of Australia to unite and send Julia Gillard a giant fucking day spa voucher.<\/a>\u201c<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>After losing to Rudd by twelve votes (in contrast, during the February challenge Gillard won by 40 votes, one of the largest margins in leadership spill history but even this didn\u2019t stop a relentless campaign against her), Gillard conducted one last press conference as PM where she managed to provide a reflective, thoughtful analysis of her time in Office:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-06-26\/julia-gillard-speaks-about-defeat\/4783950\">I\u2019ve been a\u00a0little bit bemused by those\u00a0colleagues in the newspapers who\u00a0have admitted that I have\u00a0suffered more pressure as a\u00a0result of my gender than other\u00a0prime ministers in the past but\u00a0then concluded that it had zero\u00a0effect on my political position\u00a0or the political position of\u00a0the Labor Party. It doesn\u2019t\u00a0explain everything, it doesn\u2019t\u00a0explain nothing, it explains\u00a0some things. And it is for the\u00a0nation to think in a\u00a0sophisticated way about those\u00a0shades of grey.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.abc.net.au\/news\/2013-06-26\/julia-gillard-speaks-about-defeat\/4783950\"><em>What I am\u00a0absolutely confident of is it\u00a0will be easier for the next\u00a0woman and the woman after that\u00a0and the woman after that. And\u00a0I\u2019m proud of that.<\/em><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>As well as managing to find clarity and remain cool and calm under enormous pressure, Gillard\u2019s other political strength was her parliamentary style. Which leads us to our final gong \u2013\u00a0<strong>the Paul Keating Parliamentary Knock-Out Award<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 810px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Julia-Gillard-Sophie-Deane\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Julia-Gillard-Sophie-Deane.jpg?resize=800%2C401\" width=\"800\" height=\"401\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sophie Deane&#8217;s famous photo of Julia Gillard<\/p><\/div>\n<p>This quote originates from earlier in the year, on the day the ALP played Simon [Crean] Says \u2013 and again, the day in which Rudd failed to throw his hat in the ring. Prime Minister Gillard fronted parliament with a corker of an opening line. After opening Question Time, announcing Simon Crean (without naming him) will not be answering questions to his portfolio, she then cooly announces \u201cI have determined that there will be a ballot for the Leadership and Deputy Leadership of the Labor Party at 4.30 today\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>She then eyeballs the Opposition, waves her hands as if to say \u201cbring it\u201d, and throws down the challenge:<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s worth revisiting the\u00a0Youtube clip again.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/laE1v23PRLQ?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Wishing all a giant f\u2019ing day spa voucher over the festive season and see you in 2014.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Abott-JFK\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Abott-JFK.jpg?resize=753%2C383\" width=\"753\" height=\"383\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sarah (\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:sarah@vwt.org.au\">sarah@vwt.org.au<\/a>) is the editor of feminist monthly\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/sheilas.org.au\/\">Sheilas<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Sarah Capper 23 December 2013 A week is a long time in politics. A year is an excruciating amount of time, and as we near the end of 2013, our third prime minister for the year has just reached his first 100 days in office. Awww. In many senses, it\u2019s been Tony Abbott\u2019s year.\u00a0So [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":11923,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[3434,585,43],"tags":[2601,172,643,236,539,253,259,667,273,2625,304,905,876,383,2581,423,655,1166,1296,1554,470],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Abott-JFK.jpg?fit=753%2C383&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3t0mw-35K","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11888"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11888"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11888\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.nofibs.com.au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}